spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
