Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
