can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm like, not good at living.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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