I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
