He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
