As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And then my night got REAL pukey
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
