9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
