She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My feet surprised me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
