when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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