that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
nutella sex= disaster
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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