Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
