i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
