My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.