You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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