Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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