hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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