Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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