sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
