she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
