i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
