Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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