Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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