so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
