I'm going to jail i love you
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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