Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
