Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
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he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
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I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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