I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
