I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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