its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
