I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
