I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize