that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
