Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
