i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
