that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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