I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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