I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
