Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
