I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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