so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize