Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
