just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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