Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
