susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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