I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
