Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize