I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
