I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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