its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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