have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
