Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
