He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My bed smells like the plague
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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