things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
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He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
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I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize