i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
