ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
