PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
