I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
