So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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