the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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