am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
