My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize