I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
