Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
