Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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