imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
