I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
