Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
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