Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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