the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
tell me about the eggs
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
