The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize